It’s been almost a year now since I have updated my blog. I can’t believe how fast that year has gone. Since then Tom and I have traveled Asia, went back to family and friends for a summer in the USA, and moved to Morocco. Whoa.
There are many excuses I could give for not writing. I needed time away, I felt uninspired, I felt stressed with our recent move and in our jobs. The real reason is that life happened. And I feel like it should. I haven’t decided if I will write regularly again, but the last couple of weeks I have been really missing writing. Writing for me has always been a way to process and reflect. When we moved abroad to Korea it was a place that I could share our adventures and experiences with friends and family in a convienant way.
The last year of my life has made me stronger. The last six months have been extremely challenging to put it lightly. There have been times I’ve doubted our decision to move to Morocco. When I take a step back and look around it’s then that I realize just how beautiful our life here really is. Morocco has challenged us in ways we find hard to describe. I have sat on my couch sobbing wondering why everything feels so hard here. Then just a moment later it all comes together or something great happens. When we left Korea we so desperately yearned to FEEL something. We wanted a culture where people felt PASSIONATE. Where people told you how they felt instead of keeping it all inside. We desired to be challenged in the work place and we were seeking a place where people truly wore their emotions on their sleeve. Morocco, is all of this ,and more. I have never lived in a more openly passionate place. From the daily interactions between people, the driving, the food. Everything feels like it’s lived just a bit more loudly here in Morocco.
We should have known what was coming, but as Tom always says “you don’t know what you don’t know.” The first five months in Morocco tested our patience (mine more than Tom), our perseverance, and my sanity. Just last week was a perfect example of Morocco summed up exactly for me. I had a mother SCREAM at me in a parent teacher meeting like I have never encountered before (remember, I said passion.) and then the next day she sent me a beautiful bouquet of flowers to my classroom.
Morocco, has shown me that there is beauty in the little things like endless amounts of sunshine, ridiculously cheap and delicious produce, and silent moments by the ocean. Mostly, it’s taught me how to love through the hard. Loving is easy when life is good, but what about when it all seems to be falling apart? The hugs from my amazing first graders, the guardian at our old apartment, the young guys who worked at our favorite fruit stand, my incredible husband who I DAILY thank God for. Friends, who love me at my absolute worst. A church to call home.
When I am able to still my mind I think about how whenever I haven’t been happy in life that I’ve always “fixed” it. If I was unhappy in a job- I left. If I was unhappy with a place- I moved. But, maybe there is something to be said about holding on when all you want to do is let go. Maybe there is something to be said about plowing through. Sticking it out. Maybe the person that needed to grow… was me.